Opinion
Killjoys and prigs: When the new job turns out to be a nightmare
Jonathan Rivett
Freelance writerQuestion
I was headhunted by a company and reluctantly left a role I enjoyed to accept a position that promised a great deal. I was sad to leave marvellous workmates behind, but excited by the new job and flattered that they thought enough of me to seek out my services.
I started that job a short while ago and have been shocked by what I have encountered. The leadership team are prudes. They are joyless and mean. There is no other way to describe them.
Very recently, I was told by a senior person that my appearance was inappropriate and that I would need to make a change to conform to standards. None of this was mentioned in the recruitment process - in fact I never saw a single member of the leadership group.
I regret my decision a great deal and wonder if I should ask for my old job back. Would I even be welcome?
Illustration by John ShakespeareCredit:
Answer
First, I should say that you mentioned some very specific things in your original email that would make it fairly obvious who you are, should any of your colleagues happen to read the column. Thanks for agreeing to make some changes, so we could retain the gist of your problem and convey the awfulness of the workplace without jeopardising your anonymity.
With that in mind, I won’t mention what the change to your appearance is that the senior person suggested, but I will say that it would be considered completely unremarkable in the vast majority of workplaces in Australia, and probably most of the world. I actually snorted out loud when I read that part of your unedited email.
Of course, this isn’t funny for you.
It sounds like you’ve been sold a pup, as they say in the classics. Presumably, this organisation has a highly effective recruitment department that’s been judiciously separated from the odious puritans who run the show. They’ve deceived you, and you have every right to be shocked by the truth you’ve discovered.
I think it’s sensible to be immediately considering ways out. Nobody wants to work in a grim, dour work-world dominated by killjoys and prigs. And it sounds to me from our correspondence following your first letter that you would have no problem quickly finding a job elsewhere.
Returning to your old role, though? That’s tricky. It really depends on how you parted ways.
If you eloquently expressed your reluctance to leave to important people at your previous place of work, they may welcome you back quite happily. Especially if they clearly understood that this seemed to you at the time like an opportunity too good to miss.
I think things could be more complicated if your erstwhile employer desperately wanted you to stay, and perhaps countered the offer made by the organisation you’ve now discovered to be intolerable. If they put a significant amount of time, effort and resources into convincing you not to leave, they may have legitimate reason to feel you turned your back on them. They may accept you back, but not with great enthusiasm. In a worse-case scenario, they might have taken your rejection as an outright insult, and consider your return a bad idea.
And, of course, that’s all before considering that they may have already filled your vacancy.
My advice would be to make honest enquiries to one or two people you trust at your old workplace straight away. Don’t hold off out of embarrassment, but do make it clear you feel you’ve made a mistake. Get a sense of what’s happened since you left - whether any progress has been made on replacing you, and what the candid sentiment on your departure was among people with decision-making power.
My guess from what you’ve told me is there’s a good chance you can return without upsetting anyone - in the same role or a similar one. But it’s best not to assume anything just yet.
Send your questions to Work Therapy by emailing jonathan@theinkbureau.com.au
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